K-Variety Review: We Got Married Global (2013)

We Got Married: Global
Taec & Gui Gui        4/10
Hongki & Mina    100/10  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 


I’m heartbroken. This show that I started 15 weeks ago against my better judgment (with no lack of initial scoffing at the concept) has ended. 

Verdict: What, I’m supposed to go back and ship fictional couples again? 

Well this sucks. Heads up - I’ve never watched the regular WGM except for maybe the first 3 episodes from season 1 and while I thought it was interesting, I wasn’t particularly attached to any of the couples at the time –Andy and Solbi were cute, but I didn’t have the patience to sit through the rest, or catch up to the show and watch later couples (not even for Yonghwa, sorry baby) and definitely not for the current couples (again, sorry, Taemin).

But there was something very cute and inspired about putting international couples together. Awkward as it was, Guigui was really adorable for the first few episodes, and her virtual marriage with 2pm’s Taecyeon was highly realistic in that situation: just what does a laid back male idol do with this Taiwanese bundle of energy girl and her limited comprehension of English? Oddly enough, he seemed like a normal guy. Kind of confused, more than a little bewildered, often vexed and doing a damned good job of holding it in. I’m not saying he succeeded throughout the show (far from it), but it was engaging for a while.

What got me on the slow simmer burn (and proceeded to boiled over) was FT Island’s Hongki and Japanese actress Fuji Mina. I haven’t seen onscreen chemistry this hot since the last time I watched Coffee Prince. I haven’t shipped two people this hard since Queen Inhyun’s Man. But the minute those two met, and I got that glimpse of Hongki’s totally smitten face – I fell hard. 

Kind of like this

I tried to remember that this was a variety show, that these marriages were just fake… but at some point it doesn’t even matter. I get jittery and weepy over scripted drama couples all the time. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to do the same for these couples? Bonus points because there is obviously some percentage of interaction that is unscripted and natural. Taec’s allowed to act standoffish and aloof. Mina’s allowed to cry the first time Hongki serenades her. I can buy that.

And I did.

Read on for why I loved these two + my favorite scenes (Yes I re-watched most of their scenes just to write this section). 

Variety Romance

There’s really no point in going over the finer aspects of this “for-television-variety” program – how much is fake, how much is real. This is entertainment, and at base these are actors playing a role. The ‘characters’ are given a mission card and told to do “x”. How they go about completing these missions is the real joy of the show. Sometimes they are highly amusing, sometimes exciting, and sometimes dull as dirt (kind of like… normal people). But what viewers can take away is the slice-of-life realism that shines through.

For me, Hongki and Mina did this the best. Their relationship really felt genuine, or at least the portrayal of it did. I like to think deep down in my heart that being together on this show made them fall madly in love (and now they’ll pine away the rest of their lives from unrequited passion thanks to outrageous media play if they actually dated). Hey, maybe that’s the truth. We’ll never know, and I’ll endeavor not to care. Wish me luck. 

Best Moments of HongMina

Episode 1

• Hongki’s shy face upon meeting Mina; appearing to not even know who she was at the time
• Mina belting out FT Island’s “Sarang sarang sarang” to Hongchan’s immense embarrassment. 

Episode 2

• Mina insisting on a piggy back ride (because she’s seen it in dramas) 
• Hongchan revealing his shoe collection, and the contents of many giant pieces of luggage; Mina’s shocked expression.

Episode 3

• Hongchan’s being happy when people notice how pretty his wife is

Episode 4

• Mina’s gwiyomi song
• Construction noise trio: citron tea, lobster, wine bottle.
• Hongki’s Live House: sings “Sarang sarang sarang” to no music, and Mina cries the first time of many. 

Episode 5

• Hongchan’s face when he sees Mina try on wedding gowns
• Cackling excitedly when Mina says “Yes” to his proposal
• Wedding shoot: Mina unable to run into his arms; he picks her up instead
• Wedding shoot at the piano: Mina plays “Severely” and Hongchan sings along

Episode 6

• Hongchan gloats over the phone about Mina learning to play his song for him
• The entire boatside/boatride wedding shoot
• Hongchan invites friends to their wedding, gets in ‘trouble’ with every single call. 

• Hongchan sings “I Confess” as his proposal song, with band mate Jonghoon playing guitar
• Hongchan forgets some of the lyrics, and Rosie dies a million times over. 

Episode 7

• Mina’s moonwalk down the red carpet, and Hongchan can’t even look at her
• Wedding is nearly rained/snowed out but guests come anyways: FT Island, Juniel, Hong Sukchun (“the most dangerous man”), Miss A’s Jia and Min, SS501’s Huh Youngseung, BTOB’s Minhyuk and Ilhoon (*kyaaa* Rosie’s bias!!) and AOA, Ace of Angels (“Hongki’s secret girls”). 

Episode 8

• The wedding + Mina wears a skull blanket around her wedding gown
• Special performance of the Gwiyomi song by Ilhoon himself 

Episode 9

• Hongstar teaches Mina about airport fashion and styling of the neck scarf
• Honeymoon begins; couple tests out the rose petal bed
• Hongchan uses up a Mina Coupon to get a piggy back ride himself

Episode 10

• Bike ride and Hongchan gets tracked down by fans; he introduces them to his wife
• First fight about kayaking; Eventual reconciliation but Mina still gets the spicy sushi

Episode 11

• Hongchan finally agrees to give Mina a shoulder ride
• Hongstar’s star glasses

Episode 12

• Hongchan blows special kiss to Mina during his photoshoot

Episode 13

• Hongchan tries out his nail art on Mina’s hands; gets paint on her clothes

Episode 14

• Street performers on the spot rap about Hongchan and Mina
• My Sassy Girl exchange of shoes, but Mina’s shoes are actually comfier than Hongchan’s
• Mina gives Hongchan a piggyback ride through the crowd of tourists; Hongchan complains immensely but she never lets him down
• Look of shock when told to prepare their Goodbyes

Episode 15

• Mina cooks a last meal, spicy chicken soup
• Couple revisits the place they met, reenacting the scenes; Mina tries to cry and Hongchan desperately tries to make her stop

• Outdoor movie theater; Hongchan prepare a recorded speech, then a live farewell song, “Severely” with new lyrics specifically for Mina – Mina and Rosie both start to sob 
• Removal of wedding rings; exchange of HongMina necklaces – Rosie’s still sobbing

Just so no one asks, “But Rosie, what about Taec and Gui Gui’s Best Scenes!?” here they are:

• Every time G.O. and/or Kwanghee come to visit.